I gotta be honest. I think I've probably come close in the last 20 years.

But I am NOT going to go back and look.

Felix at the Denver Egoist puts out a terrific advertising blog and writes a series of rants.

This one is called "The Top 10 Cruddiest Headlines That Prove You're a No-Talent Hack". Full disclosure: my first year out, I wrote a headline for a company called "Fas Grase" (or something -- it was pronounced FAHZ-grahz; it had little dots over the "a") that made a sort of grows-grass-faster-than-you-can-get-out-the-lawn-chairs-and-the-kiddie-pool product.

At the time, I thought "Amazing Grase" was brilliant.

But maybe it wasn't so brilliant. (See #10 below.) I know a guy who, after 30 years in the business, if he couldn't write pun headlines, he couldn't write headlines at all. Which is why he needs to stick to broadcast and stop with the print already. Anyway, here is Felix's Top Ten.

1. (no headline at all)
2. Size matters
3. There's [attribute]. And then there's [produce] [attribute].
4. Start your engines
5. Or buy a [product].
6. There's only one way to spell [word/phrase] - [brand].
7. Think you know [word/product/brand]? Think again.
8. Got [brand/product]?
9. The good news and the bad news.
10 Puns (Guilty as charged -- at least once.)

If you missed the first link above in your eagerness to get to the list, you can read the whole thing here.